I love peanut butter sandwiches. My father taught me the art of making one properly, and I like to think I’ve advanced the art over the years. I’ve taken great care in passing on these time-tested secrets to my kids, so that they can “spread” the word.

I like my peanut butter crunchy, not EXTRA crunchy. This is an option JIF fails to offer. You can buy smooth, or extra crunchy. My highly intelligent mind JUST figured out why! Perhaps the reason I continue writing blogs is for my own benefit, not for the handful of readers that continue checking in.

JIF can blame the lack of a “Crunchy” option on KFC. Chicken options are limited to “Original recipe,” or “EXTRA Crispy.” No “Crispy.” I’ll sleep better from now on. Instinctively, I can sense right now, the beautiful flow to this blog. The thesis is obvious, grammar stellar, transition statements offered with clarity, illustrations riveting and thought provoking, sentences resisting the temptation to run too long, humor SO subtle as to almost be difficult to locate... I’m good.

So, back to the peanut butter issue, because identifying blame isn’t enough. I love peanut butter and needed a solution, and please don’t suggest alternative brands. Organic, all natural...... I’ve tried them and nearly lost my love for this delicacy for life.

My solution is a bit labor intensive, costly at the outset, but simply brilliant, tasty and worth the investment. I purchase two jars of peanut butter. One that is extra crunchy and one that is smooth. Then, when it's time to have company over for a delicious peanut butter sandwich feast, I simply open both jars, take a swipe of smooth and a swipe of extra crunch for each sandwich. Of COURSE I spread a layer of REAL butter on one of the slices as well, because peanut “butter,” while delicious, is “butter” by name only. It is still the chef’s responsibility to apply actual butter to the bread if a quality sandwich is desired.

After merging the peanut butter and butter slices of bread in a ceremonial celebration of sandwich matrimony, a trademark is administered to the top of the sandwich. Cleaning both sides of the knife off on the top of the treat, forming an “X.”

I’ve yet to come up with a successful solution for KFC. I’m finding it difficult getting original and extra crispy chickens to mate. Photos not included.