I’m in severe multitask mode on a dreary spring morning. Let me begin by justifying the inclusion of the spooky picture above. I am a self proclaimed pathetic taker of selfies, SPPTOS for short. Pronunciation: “sp-pa-tos.” Rolls off the tongue rather easily, doesn’t it?
I’m not sure of the reason I can’t take a flattering picture of myself, but have narrowed it down to two theories. Either cameras are not as precise as they were 40 years ago, or my arms are too short. Regardless, I’m not buying a new phone just to get a better camera, and I REFUSE to buy a selfie stick.
I actually posted this pic on FB a while ago to get advice regarding my beard. I do not enjoy having facial hair. It's itchy, requires extra maintenance, occasionally captures food, AND in my case, makes me look like I had bad aim with a powdered donut.
Most of the FB comments I received were kind, helpful and to the point. One, however, completely strayed from topic. A college buddy of mine, who now lives in Laos, took the opportunity to criticize my shower curtain instead of simply critiquing my facial hair presentation. I took his comment in stride and convinced myself the curtain was fine; that is, until now. As it turns out, my friend and his son are spending the night in my home this weekend. While I wasn’t willing to splurge on the purchase of a new curtain, I did think a good washing of the old one was in order, probably a decade ago. The careful eye can see the removal of the curtain is no easy task. DOZENS of little tie things (that’s the technical term) had to be untied before removing the curtain. Tightly tied knots made this a difficult job, but the respect of my friend made it worth the effort. After removing the curtain and gathering the little tie things, I headed to my tidy laundry room (a room NO one is allowed to see). I noticed a green cotton blanket carefully placed on my spotless laundry room floor and decided I’d save water, soap and time by putting the blanket in with the curtain and little tie things. Willing to go the extra mile to regain the respect of my friend, I even adjusted the washer dial to “soak mode,” so as to get the fabric extra clean. I’m currently recalling my manager’s advice to keep my blogs short. I’ll bet she’s REALLY proud of me right now. I think I also imagine her wishing I’d begin a new paragraph at this time.
After the wash cycle was complete I opened the door and observed a somewhat unexpected result. The blanket looked like I anticipated, but the curtain was now a delightful shade of green. Since my bathroom is also a shade of green, it matches. While my intent was to just have a clean curtain, I now feel like I have a new one! It cost me nothing but a little time and effort. Please don’t try this at home. It worked out great for me due to my uncanny ability to color coordinate my oversights. Your results may vary.
In summary, my opening sentence made reference to “multitasking,” yet it had no relevance to the blog. The author can grow a white beard, but prefers not to. Said author also reportedly has a laundry room to be envied and he’s lucky it wasn’t a red blanket he found on the floor in route to the washing machine.
Eat your hearts out.